When I got to high school, I was still stuck in the fairness idealology. I was also firmly stuck in the girly doesn't equal feminist. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that you can be both girly and a feminist. They're not exclusive.
I wasn't one of those girls who had a mirror in her locker. Or brushed my hair before lunch. I stopped wearing the horrible make-up of junior high. I didn't wear make-up comfortably for a long time. Even today, the most I ever really wear is mascara and lip gloss.
I made my feelings pretty well known. I was pretty vocal about them; calling boys out when they said something stupid. Believe me, that happened often. I'm sure I had a reputation. But that didn't bother me.
But something happened between high school and college. I became more self conscious. Sure I went to an all women's college. There were no sororities. They had a Women's Collective, a safe place for women. They held Take Back the Night demonstrations, which I participated in. Of course, some jerk would always yell terrible things out the windows at us as we marched through the streets. But that didn't stop me.
What did stop me was professor making terrible jokes in class. I wanted to say something to one professor who joked about rape with the text we were reading. It wasn't funny but for some reason I didn't feel comfortable talking up. I never did tell him my thoughts on his lecture.
Clearly there's a different between calling out boys in high school that you've known forever and calling out a professor. Still, I am disappointed in myself that I didn't share my concerns then.
Being at an all Women's College solidified my ideals, but it also broadened and deepened them.
If you missed the first part of my journey, read about it here.
